A slight shuffle of feet for mankind, but a giant step for me.

I passed IPPT! Finally my training has paid off for my pull ups. It remains an obstacle but much less so then before. Not quite He Man but its gratifying to see the results of your labour :)

procrastination

I must be the laziest person in the world. My bicycle project lies in pieces, months after I've salvaged the pieces. The materials clog up the common hallway and only the patience of my neighbours allow it to remain, a car wreck of parts.

My room looks like a tornado went through it, after since I've rearranged everything to be more sensible. Scattered parts of a hundred projects, all waiting their turn to be completed.

Even my photography materials, my cameras and film lie forgotten, just shy of being abandoned. Hundreds of dollars of equipment, left to waste.

Time is short, time is tight, no time for anything at all I lament. I book out on friday and book in on sunday and everything happens in between. But time, so precious and hard fought for is spent needlessly, in front of the computer, lazing around, wandering in futile pursuit. Like a beggar, upon finding himself a gold coin, wastes it on beer, wine and women.

Time waits for no one. My self discovery, self learning, self adventure through the world of books and magazines starts tonight. Salvaging the wreckage of each day by learning something new, every day.

random contemplations

I decided today would be washing day. Armed with the necessary items, I strolled to the washing point. For the discerning clothes washer, there are three locations to work from, namely in the toilet where 5/6 ventilation fans don't work, a trip down 6 stories (and back up again) to the washing machines or a steel sink with a view. Steel sink it is then. Wetting my clothes, I then sprinkled a goodish amount of soap powder (ATTACK! brand) before scrubbing away. I also took advantage of the view to admire the setting sun with two of Singapore's National Birds (Construction Cranes) still hard at work on the horizon, building yet another condominium unit not 6 inches away from my camp. Land is scarce in Singapore, yet we have maybe 5 golf courses here. The irony. A platoon of men march pass towards the admin block. OCTs, judging from the volume. Us men and SCTs can't be bothered to do more then the minimum, the norm.

Then a thought inserted itself in my mind; how are we going to defend this country of ours without grievous loss? An invading army can bombard us and we will lose by the sheer economic loss. And so my friend argued too, bravely, at the board of judges during her SAFOS (scholarship) interview, maybe one of the most prestigious in Singapore. Taking the initiative, the First strike was another possibility; as the old saying goes, 30 minutes after country M declares war, we'll be hundreds of KM inside her! But in this age of terrorism, how can you be assured of the first blow and a quick and swift victory?

I am been avoiding the obvious answer to this question, an answer drummed into me through the various educational institutions I attended. Mao, Stalin and Hitler would be jealous of what we have in the latest brainwashing techniques. Not fear, nor values or hate drives it, but money. Economic progress, everything else is sacrificed to this alter in the temple of Singapore. Hence why I link the economic downfall to be Singapore's defeat. But I digress.

We, we are the saviours of this land! But what poorer saviours there are, none can fathom. Our education system, vaunted for its high quality of graduates also has a track record of one faced, answer driven blanks rolling off the assembly line. Neither are we as physically strong as the previous generation, the privilege of motorised vehicles, escalators, elevators and other mechanical advantages. Our westernised and international outlook has backfired, resulting in a brain drain that has the Prime Minister appearing on print and on screen, begging for them to stay.

A lot to think about while doing the washing. In the end, I mused as I washed up, we are what we choose to be unless we choose to follow whatever circumstance "forces" us to do. It is up to us to change this state or to abandon it. Whatever happens, I am proud of Singapore and wish to serve and protect this nation of my loved ones and friends.

I hung my clothes to dry at the drying racks. They still felt a bit soapy.

in the pits

Its hard to keep enthusiasm for something you never meant to happen. And thats keeping you away from your dreams. We all kid ourselves that its for the country, but what are we anchored if not solely our loved ones and money? Everything else has been prostituted in the name of progress. I see like minded people, with lofty dreams and visions, high achievers forced down, eclipsed by this spectre. A spectre is apt as the darkness ahead is gloomy and I cannot see my way forward. Nothing is celebrated except skiving, a perverse communism that oppresses hard work and rewards the unjust. But time and time again I see the light, praise the Lord! I refuse to drop mu standards and work now to reap the harvest later. No one may appreciate my work, a simple humble soldier; but I am determined to show my worth, to hold my head high and proud of my duty. Training perhaps for difficult times ahead.