Saturday, January 17, 2009

Gut feeling

(With no callous intent or block headed emotion to those who have suffered a shattering dual blow yesterday)

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."
-Romans 8:18

There is a trembling in my body

A thunderstorm in my brain

A hurricane in my heart

I find that through the events of yesterday that I am never more driven to succeed.

Never. Not even half.

My hands and legs can't stop shaking as I type this.

We are going to do this, we are going to make it work

And we are going to succeed.

We're in the drivers' seat now and the lights' flashing

3

2

1

Go!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Rollercoaster ride, going up, down and away.

16 January 2009

A day never felt so surreal.

Nor did I experience so many things happening at the same time before.

To the two people whom I owe plenty but yet do not demand a cent back in return, I hope the both of you take comfort in this verses:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
-2 Timothy 4 v7-8

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
-Psalm 34 v.18

Weeping may endure through the night,
But Joy comes in the morning.
-Psalm 30 v.5b

---

"When there is destruction, there is creation"

That though keeps popping in my mind.

With death, comes the joy of a new life.

With rejection, comes the drive and fervor to press on to our goal.
Bold Italic
With the disruption of plans, comes new opportunities of growth and action.

With the threat of diminishing funds, comes the drive to succeed.



The glass is always half full, not half empty.

---

Thursday, January 15, 2009

What you DO not want to hear while on show

"I hate school it's been really demoralising. I'm not lying when I say that my ASM is a weirdo.... who I can't really work well with because she just smiles...without talking or doing anything else. Technically it's kinda freaky, but I've gotta deal with it aye?"

-Julia

Reading about Julia and her woes with her ASM reminds me of the good old days of school production and your ASM reminds me of my own SM during my first show with G. Imagine on the day of the performance, while it's ongoing and you're the lighting personal.

Characters:

SM - Ryan
ASM - Joanne

Lighting - Samuel (me)

S
ound - Sandra

Scene:

Backstage in a school blackbox theater, halfway through show.

Lighting state:

Spot on Lighting, SM and Sound crew, 10%.

Samuel: (quietly) Ok, lights 1 and 2 fade down to 50%, up no.3 to 90%.

Joanne: (quietly) Sam sam!

Samuel: (quietly) What is it Joanne?

Joanne: (quietly) It's Ryan, he's..... (mumbling)

Samuel: (slightly agitated) What? Speak up Joanne.

Joanne: (slightly agitated) It's Ryan, he's SLEEPING!

Samuel: (Quietly Very Agitated) WHAT?

(Turns to position where Ryan and Sandra is located. Sandra is obviously very agitated while Ryan is peacefully sawing wood)

Spot on Ryan, Sandra 50%

Samuel: (hand gestures) WHAT-THE-FUCK-IS-HE-DOING? WE'RE-IN-THE-MIDDLE- OF-THE-SHOW!

Sandra: (unprintable reply)

Ryan: Snore~~

(Samuel turns to a now very agitated ASM)

Samuel: Ok, just run as per normal. We did it before so many times and we'll do it again.

Joanne: (nervous but resolute) Ok.

(Joanne shifts back to her position while Samuel signals to Sandra)

Samuel: (hand gestures) CONTINUE-AS-NORMAL-OK?

Sandra: (hand gestures) OK-(Yet more unprintable gestures)

Ryan: Snore~~

-- After curtain call --

Ryan: (cheerful) Hey guys, that was a wonderful show! Great job!

Joanne: (irritated) No thanks to you.

Samuel: (irritated) ...

Sandra: (picks up random blunt object)

(Ryan gets mauled to death with blunt object)

Blackout

---

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

In the end, we are all alike.

Two girls

Different ages
Different lifestyles

One living the high life, council, good grades, great school, awesome friends
The other struggling through school, losing friends and hurting those already close to her.

The princess and the pauper.

Both struggling to keep their heads above water,
clinging to their achievements, their friends, their God.
Both constantly questioning their existence.
Both fearful about what others say about themselves.

Both outwardly normal, card carrying Singaporeans
Silently screaming

Save
Our
Souls

Anyone?



Addendum:
I have this really bad habit of reading other people's blogs. It stems from my obsessive desire to read, anything anywhere anytime. It was during one of my exploratory trips into the underworld of the internet that I found this two girls, both so different and yet so alike. One from a N/A class in a neighbourhood secondary school, the other from the top class in a top Junior College. But both oh so fragile.

I sometimes wonder whether I enter this line of work more for my personal enjoyment and excitement or in order that I can perhaps help young people like them in whatever way I can.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Gee, it's the equator and I'm feeling colder then a well digger's ass in Siberia!

Blow wind blow~

Insane Insane weather, been blowing typhoons and hurricanes over at my place for the past few days. Good for sleeping and saves electricity as my fan is now jobless, but it's strange to be all wrapped up in a blanket while you try to fight the cold in a TROPICAL country.

Of boots, overcoats and random clothing items.

As a general rule, I dislike shopping.

Having three ladies in the house (2 sisters and mom) means you're dragged on shopping trips whether you like it or not, often for hours on end. I used to dislike it as it was tiring and I didn't like the clothes on display anyway. To be fair, a dress or lingerie won't really fit well on me but you get the idea. More to the point, clothes didn't fit well on me as I used to be quite plump, hence the disdain for them.

I spent 5 hours shopping for polo tees last week.

Why the sudden change?

I realised that I didn't want to walk around in unfitting round neck tees and baggy jeans anymore. I finally understood the reason for the many hours of window shopping the ladies do. Walking around many stores and malls, they have a feel of the designs, material and look of the outfit on themselves in order that they can fit everything without making them look bad. Buying a top to match the bottom, shoes to match the clothes and for the entire outfit to match the event. It's certainly not a case of 5 minute rushes to the store and the rest of the time at the sports section.

But neither did I want to preen myself in front of the mirror everyday.

I compromised with buying classic outfits that last and fitting for most occasions. Polo tees in all shapes and sizes, blazers, well cut long sleeved shirts and proper shoes. These can be worn in many different combinations to suit out the occasion. Being an active guy, my preference was to solid outfits which last and protect.

Cheap is not good, good does not come cheaply.

I never liked spending much on items, only on my toys (games, models and now photography gear) but more of that budget is now diverted to clothing. $400 will not get you a decent lens but it does get you decent threads.

Get to the point!

My clothes fit me better, which leads to:
Me looking better, which leads to:
Me feeling better.

Narcissist?

You decide.




Did I just make you wade through an entire essay about clothing?

;)

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