Running High

My lungs scream for oxygen

even as I gulp in air.

My legs tremble

with every step.

I feel like I’m dying

but I’ve never been this alive before.

All this while I’m running 2.4.

 

---

10.38 best timing yet, attempting to break the 10min barrier at the next IPPT mark…

National Service

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. but it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

Winston Churchill

the inevitable, but tragic, conclusion

after many hours pouring over graphs and charts;

frantic bashing of the calculator crunching figures;

to endless searching of online forums and auctions;

The conclusion:

$500 +

$300 +

$70 +

$200 +

= $1070

= Cost of running a lower market Toyota Corolla per month.

---

pretty girl pretty swell

I met a pretty girl today while catching up with my friends from secondary school.

We've been around for quite a while, sticking together from primary to secondary school, past the tertiary gap and now bonded together by National Service.

One served, one serving and one yet to serve.

We took turns on updating ourselves on whos who and whats what. Mostly though, they gave me the load down of National Service, pearls of wisdom passed down generations through word of mouth.

Not realising we had to write down our orders on the form provided, I approached the cashier, a pretty young thing in her 20's, with the menu in tow.

Excuse me, could I have drink X?

Oh sir, you'll have to fill in the order form first

Flustered, my eyes darted around for the elusive form in question. Noticing my confusion, she took charge of the situation.

Not to worry sir, just tell me the order numbers for the items you want and I'll just type it in.

Ah yes, thank you. I'm really sorry for the confusion, it's my first time here and I'm not used to the system.

I was distracted from ordering the drinks as I was looking at her. Not at her bits mind, but at the radiant smile emitting from her face as she took down my order.

Smiles are addictive, so I ended up breaking into a smile myself as I thanked her before returning to my seat. The smile carried on throughout the evening, lighting up my mood even as I bid farewell to my friends and we made our way home.

---

I realise that beauty to me is all about the inside. Sure, she was pretty on the outside, but what made her stand out was the warmth as she served me and her addictive smile. Without this qualities, she would be as lifeless as any person on the street. Qualities to think about as I wander in search of a companion.

two - zero

The root beer bubbles happily in its glass case, awaiting the next sip.

The fluorescent tube glows brightly, sending rays of light over the room.

My laptop hums away as it quietly processes a million and one programmes.

I'm on the phone with my friend, talking about everything and nothing.

I take a sip.

The BlackBerry shows 12pm.

16th August 2009.

Happy Birthday.

people; love

I fall in love with many people every single day.

On the train, in school, over the air, everywhere!

I love staring into their eyes and losing myself into the depths within.

Or at their legs; so slim, smooth and silky.

But what I like most about them is what’s deep inside.

Their humanity, their humility, their poise, composure, self confidence

and everything in between.

I get a nice fuzzy feeling when I encounter these people.

They make my day, my week, my year!

At least, until the next person comes along, restarting the process.

 

---

awkward…

I enter my new class with trepidation.

Already they’re staring at me, sizing me up.

I set down my books perhaps too harshly. The wooden desk moans in protest

A girl starts giggles nervously before stopping abruptly.

My throat is dry, my shoulders stiff.

A manage a grin.

The staring continues.

I give a sigh and give up trying, before looking at my class timetable.

4 more weeks of this hell. I can do this!

I wonder… if my students feel the same as well?

--- 

a new day beckons; it’s going to be alright

the alarm’s ringing, breaking the rush of dreams

sunlight filters through your window, ending their long journey from the sun.

the birds are chirping; people are out practicing tai chi

it feels like you’ve ran a hundred miles while you struggle out of bed,

yet once you’re on your feet you feel you can run a thousand more.

a new day beckons, with bright new possibilities outshines the old

and where many adventures abound.

“Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero”

Seize the day and place no trust in tomorrow

Dedicated to G & Yan, who made today a reality for me and many others.

---

flummoxed

"I willingly become weak, uneducated and stupid, because love is too beautiful a thing to miss. Love is beautiful not because it makes you feel good all the time. Love is beautiful because sometimes it warms you, and sometimes it is painful. That's what makes us human. And being human is beautiful."

Yan, 2009

I cannot understand this. It’s not the words, nor the meaning behind the words, all of which I grasp readily. I’m not deprived of love. I give and receive it often and freely to the best of my intentions.

My parents, my relatives and my friends all love me and I love them back. I just don’t understand loving someone in an intimate sort of way. I liked many girls before and have even chased a few. But in hindsight, what I appreciated was their friendship and warmness; love evaded once again. I did try to love someone. Tried my best, but it wasn’t to be, never to be.

I’m not miserable. In fact, I’m having a great time being single. I am hindered by no one except by God driven conscious. I don’t find a need for another person in my life now or in the near future, not now. 

Not ever?

This is not the end to this discussion, just the first round. (3/7/09)

---

digital emotions

Can you tell from Twitter that I'm sad?

So that you can comfort me through Facebook?

Do you read my Blog to know me?

Post in Cbox to know how I feel.

How can I tell that you Digg me?

You seem so aloof in Myspace.



Is there a way to compute love?
Or bluetooth your feelings?


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