flummoxed

"I willingly become weak, uneducated and stupid, because love is too beautiful a thing to miss. Love is beautiful not because it makes you feel good all the time. Love is beautiful because sometimes it warms you, and sometimes it is painful. That's what makes us human. And being human is beautiful."

Yan, 2009

I cannot understand this. It’s not the words, nor the meaning behind the words, all of which I grasp readily. I’m not deprived of love. I give and receive it often and freely to the best of my intentions.

My parents, my relatives and my friends all love me and I love them back. I just don’t understand loving someone in an intimate sort of way. I liked many girls before and have even chased a few. But in hindsight, what I appreciated was their friendship and warmness; love evaded once again. I did try to love someone. Tried my best, but it wasn’t to be, never to be.

I’m not miserable. In fact, I’m having a great time being single. I am hindered by no one except by God driven conscious. I don’t find a need for another person in my life now or in the near future, not now. 

Not ever?

This is not the end to this discussion, just the first round. (3/7/09)

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